I've never had my very own psychotherapist. Oh, I've been to pre-marital counseling (It worked. I didn't get married) and we-better-do-something-different-before-one-of-us-kills-each-other counseling (This worked as well. The something different was me breaking it off which led us both living to see another day), but I haven't had a solo session with an official PhD of the human psyche. Have I considered it? Sure, but when I can have a nightly go-around in my dreams for free, I know I can save myself a lot of money and get some pretty damn good advice from my own head provided I listen.
So here's what my self-psychoanalysis has diagnosed, as well as its accompanying treatment plan: Dreams of lustful exploits with my exes have been occuring more frequently because the real story behind all the sordid tales and make-believe mojo is one I can no longer ignore. For many years, I've wished that the story would just appear on the pages of my journal and that would be enough resolution and completion for me. For the past year, I'd hoped that this blog would be the place where my inspiration turned into committed action. Apparently not according to my dreams and to most of my fully-awakened states of being.
Apparently, I'm one of those folks who believes she's a good enough writer (when she writes) and has a decent enough of a story about three topics most relationships encounter (lying, lust and love) that I'm compelled to write a book and make this story of mine public. What is also quite apparent is I have reached the point where as Stephen DeStaebler says, "Artists don't get down to work until the pain of working is exceeded by the pain of not working." The pain of not writing has now become big enough that I'm paying attention and doing something about it.
So the treatment plan is a consistent schedule (inspired by my admiration for this writer's commmitment to his work and his community of readers) and is as follows...Mondays and Thursdays ~ posts filled with passionate and provocative words to stir up juicy conversations within your own head and heart as well as here on this blog. Sundays ~ this will be my end-of-the-week fess-up on how well the book is or isn't progressing. This treatment plan scares the shit out of me and I know it's time to do that which scares me. I came across this question a few days back and my answers reinforced the validity of the dreams I've been having. The answers are my book and my fear of, well, of everything. (Click on the link for the question and the kick-ass article that came with it as well as to understand my answers.)
Take a look at your dreams and what they're telling you. Be your own psychotherapist and be honest when you consider whether or not your own advice is worth listening to. Decide if the pain you feel not doing something is greater than actually doing it. Create a treatment plan that scares you and inspires your greatest work.
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