Blessed and at rest

by Lisa on May 7, 2009

 

Love didn’t always look or feel this way.  The sweet-faced gentleman staring right at you in the picture above is my husband, James.  I adore this photo because it captures something that eluded me for a very long time in my previous relationships.  That something is ease.  It eluded me because I wasn’t aware how important that quality was for me up until a few years ago and I was also very attached to being right in my relationships rather than being fair.

It’s difficult to feel blessed and at rest when you’re constantly blaming others for what’s wrong and when you’re unwilling to take responsibility for the shit you contribute to the relationship being the way it is.  Being accountable for your actions (and I mean all of them) isn’t an easy thing to do, but when you do fully fess up to what you help mess up, a sense of ease and comfort will begin to present itself in the partnership picture. 

I have a few friends right now who are going through some rough and tumble times in their marriages and when I hear them speak of what they want and what’s missing in their relationships, I would venture to guess that ease would be wholeheartedly welcomed right now.  When ease disappears (or if it was never there to begin with) how do we create it again?   We tell the truth…to ourselves and to the ones we love.  We apologize for the mistakes we’ve made.  We forgive.   We share with our partner what qualities in a relationship are most important to us.  We let go of the small stuff.  We listen more and talk less. Engage in these behaviors more often and what you’re apt to discover is the ease that’s eluded you. 

I like to think that ease is just another word for trust.  Whatever you trust and in whomever you place your trust, ease is to be found there.  Ah yes…that’s why I love this picture so much.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

air jordans January 10, 2011 at 7:04 pm

* be happy together is good enough. I am not asking for things that I could never get.

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